I have the wonderful pleasure of rehearsing Carl Orff’s “Carmina Burana” with the Kauai Chorale for a performance in May. You’d recognize the beginning and ending movements “Fortuna Imperatrix Mundi” (Fortune-Empress of the World) as that wild King Arthur dashing over the countryside piece from the movie “Ex Calibur”, I think. It’s also in commercials. It’s actually a collection of 24 medieval poems in Middle High German, Old French, and mostly Medieval Latin. These poems were selected from a manuscript of 254 poems in “Songs from Beuern” found in the Benedictine Monastery of Benediktbeuern, Bavaria..

 

OK. No more history. I had to get a translation of these poems because I had no idea what I was singing about, and actually sometimes Orff’s choice of music didn’t always seem to me to match the subject matter. Anyway, right away I was struck by how difficult the world is perceived to be, and how unfair. Here is the translation of the first and most famous rousing movement:

 

“O Fortune, variable as the moon, always does thou wax and wane. Detestable life, first dost thou mistreat us, and then, whimsically thou heedest our desires.

As the Sun melts the ice, so dost thou dissolve both poverty and power.

 

“Monstrous and empty fate, thou, turning wheel, art mean, voiding good health at they will. Veiled in obscurity, thou dost attack me also. To thy cruel pleasure I bare my back.

 

“Thou dost withdraw my health and virtue: thou does threaten my emotion and weaken with torture. At this hour, therefore, let us pluck the strings without delay. Let us mourn together, for fate crushes the brave.”

 

I have to say, I was surprised, as the music is so inspiring and uplifting, but maybe that’s the point. As a student of “A Course in Miracles”, I’ve learned that this 3D world is basically a totally awesome illusion created by a collective ego, of which all our egos play a part. Now our egos are the analytical, thinking, emotional parts of ourselves that are never quite satisfied with things like Fortuna. The ego occupies our minds relentlessly. It is fear and guilt driven. “I’m not good enough, he doesn’t love me, I don’t have enough. I’m sick. I can't possibly.” These are all ego thoughts. Our perceptions follow our uneasy thoughts, and we sort of wait for disasters to happen to us, which then sometimes become self-fulfilling prophecies.

 

And then there is the truth of Who we are:Spirit. Spirit trumps ego, and many of us have had experiences where our egos got us into a mess, and we prayed for divine guidance, and were led to higher ground, and felt the presence of our Spirit self, or another’s, which got us back on track.

 

Maybe Orff’s music represents the Spirit part, the fearless part that knows that no matter what Fortune deals us in this world, we are unchanged, free, loving, and lovable. There are pieces that follow that are about love, but it is the 3D kind and refers to lovers, and “frolicking”. But one line in #8 “Salesman, Give me Color” a poem about buying make-up and looking appealing to men touched my heart. “Love will ennoble you, and take you to high honors.” I think we first learn about divine Love, by experiencing the ego variety. We join hearts with another and  that take us out of our selfish personal ego pity pots. I certainly do believe in Love. I hope you experience the fun, the frolicking, and the ennobling parts of it.

 

I’ve just been back to NY with my siblings to help settle our mother’s estate. She had a lot of “stuff”, and she wanted it to be divided evenly somehow, although she didn’t specify who would get what. So we had auctions for the valuable things. The amount you bid was subtracted from your share of the total assets. We did very well in keeping the peace, partly because we have two cousins who didn’t fare as well. This morning, as the matriarch of the clan and someone who loves them dearly, I wrote them a letter. I thought you might be interested. Names are changed of course.

 

Dear Michael and Gabriel,

 

I woke up this morning with the two of you in my mind, or maybe heart. I was thinking of how I hope you'll like the boxes of "stuff" that I found and selected for you, with help from my siblings, although initially Raphael (my brother) was in throw out mode, because there was just so very much stuff.  I just started the boxes, and assured him that they would get out of the house.

 

Now why did we cousins take the extra time and energy to think of you, and put things aside? Because we love you and we're family.

 

We also talked about another over riding presence that you two represented for us, and that was "We don't know what happened between Michael and Raphael after Uncle Uriel died, but we'll never let that happen to us. None of us 'need' what Mom has left us, so we can't let it cause harm in our relationships." When differences of opinion arose, we took the time to talk them out and settle them. So in a way your rift has guided us in what not to do. There was also some negativity between Mom and her brother Uriel, and my dad and his brother. They all overcame them though. The love just won out. I'm hoping that will be the case with you two. 

 

We are the leaders of the Celestial family now, and Wayne and I the head of the Heavenly family. How we treat each other will be passed down by imitation or avoidance, depending upon how well we lead. Do we model love and caring, or disrespect and indifference? What legacy do we leave the children when they are planning family reunions down the Celestial family line?

 

I love you each individually forever, no matter how you choose to relate to each other and will keep you included in the emails and info lines, but OH IN MY HEART I WOULD LOVE IT IF MY PICTURE OF YOU WAS LOVING BROTHERS, WHO WERE A SOLID FAMILY LINE.

 

I actually believe that John Lennon was serious when he said "Love is all there is." Love is of spirit, and has no needs except maybe to extend itself.

But we don't live in the spirit world. We have 3D bodies, and perceptions based upon the mindset we hold about things. I could offer you a home made cookie, and if you thought I loved you, you might think, "Oh, look what Cuz did for me, isn't that nice." If you thought I didn't love you, you might think, "Is she trying to make me fat?" Sadly, loving actions and truth can get trumped by the perceiver's mindset about something, eclipsing the truth. 

 

The ego's use of love is more like a commodity. "I'll love you if I get something back", and it's usually love that the other person wants, but if I think I'm unlovable, I'll settle for money or things.  One of my teachers said that all arguments are about "You don't love me enough."   Arguments are caused when something happens that causes the other person to interpret that the other person did something unloving to them. My personal belief holds that Love is enough, and if the real love is strong enough, it can heal any ego disorder or misperception. 

 

And here's the one you might not want to hear: even if our minds create a rift and hatred, our spirit selves, which are love, are still extending love to each other. It can create illness in the body actually to have such contrast held. Holding resentment is one of the characteristics of "cancer" personalities. I looked that up when Raphael was diagnosed with melanoma last summer. We Heavenly kids have got to undo resentments fast, as cancer is in100% of our gene lines.

 

Another thing about love is that we can beam it out and it affects everyone, everyone, even the "bad guys", and actually helps turn them around, but

it doesn't judge. It won't work if I think, "I'm sending love out to Michael and Gabriel for the purpose of healing that relationship." Then I'm judging, and manipulating. I'll just keep sending love to you guys. I somehow trust that you two have to walk with this rift between you for awhile, and that even if you carry it to the grave, and your legacy is "Oh, the Celestial line had those two brothers who hated each other in it, and it weakened us for awhile...." that when you pass over you'll feel the love that is truly there. 

 

If for no apparent reason you feel a little smile bubble up within, it might be because I'm loving you dearly. It was difficult to write this letter, but I thought

that as the matriarch, AND someone who loves you both, I needed to give you a perspective of how it might be perceived down the line.

 

Hugs and out,

Annaleah

 

I first experienced a “burning bowl” ceremony at Unity Church of Roanoke Valley in 1984 as a way of preparing for the New Year. As we entered the sanctuary we were given two pieces of paper, and a pencil. The Reverends Alan and Kathryn Rowbotham explained that this ceremony was to aid in the releasing of what was no longer useful to us, and was keeping us from receiving the higher good that was waiting for us. It made sense. If your pockets are full, you can’t put anything more into them, and we all deserve good things, relationships, events, abundance and more.

 

In a guided meditation experience we were encouraged to write down on one piece of paper what we felt we were holding onto that needed releasing. They covered emotions, attitudes, difficult relationships, unsatisfying jobs, etc., whatever came to us. We were to be conscious and sincere. That was collected and put in a brazier to burn, a concrete demonstration of releasing it to the angels.

 

On the other sheet of paper we wrote to God what we wanted for ourselves in the coming year, put it in an envelope and took it home to open some months later. I’ve since chosen to find images of the result I want, and sometimes affirmations I believe will help direct me to get to there, and paste or draw them on a piece of poster board, and put it in my bedroom so that it is one of the last things I see at night, and one of the first in the morning. I believe it has helped me a lot in maintaining a direction in this very distracting world.

 

Many people pray for positive change to come into their lives, but then don't make any changes in this 3D world. And do we know what is in our own best interest? Luckily there is One who does, The Comforter, Holy Spirit, that part of our mind that still remembers that we are Love, and One with the All, which is Love. We can ask for its guidance, and trust that we will be led to that which brings us to our Loving Presence.

 

For 2011 I painted iridescent hues of pink, blue, turquoise and gold swirling on the poster board. I put my picture from this website on the top, and the Aramaic Lord's Prayer below, cut out into a heart's shape. It was accompanied by a single violet orchid stalk. I knew that I would have great challenges this year, with the dying of my mother, and changes I would have to make to leave Hawaii and help her. My foundation was the Lord's Prayer, nature (represented by the orchid stalk), and two blessings that came to me later in the year.

 

The first was Tom Carpenter's teaching that "Nothing in this world is real." I repeated that frequently, whenever the visuals of my mother 's disfiguring disease threatened my peace of mind. I was also able to Skype with my little granddaughter, who was learning to say, "I love you." But all she could say at the time was, "I love." It has become a mantrum for me.

 

I have lived long enough to know that everything I need will be provided for me when I need it, whether or not I agree with what is going on at the time. Also, because I am loved, there will also be a little more, just for fun.

 

Take your time in making resolutions. Make sure you go within to get the best ones for your highest good. And did I ever tell you I loved you?

 

 

 

 

 

Hello Loves,

I'm back from New Zealand, and ready to celebrate the returning of the Light. Actually the Light never leaves. It only appears that it is less and less. In the northern hemisphere, today is the Winter Solstice, and in the southern hemisphere it is the Summer Solstice. Born within each solstice is the change leading to the opposite one. In the north the sun is farthest away, down to the Tropic of Capricorn, which incidentally gives its name to the astrological sign we are now in, so we experience the least light in the year. But the very next day, the Light makes its way back north, giving us more light until it is maximized at the Summer Solstice, when the Tropic of Cancer is receiving the most sunlight. The first day of summer signals the astrological sign of Cancer.

Wiccans call the winter solstice Yule. They believe that their sun god dies, and in the middle of the solstice night, the Earth Mother births a new baby sun god.Traditionally they burned a large ash wood yule log, which maintained the light in the world. Sound familiar? Our seasonal songs about Yuletide, and the way we celebrate the New Year with the old father time leaving, and the baby new year taking his place.

The symbolism I choose to glean from all this is in remembering that no matter how dark it may seem, the Light is always there. What would make things seem "dark" for us? It's a good question to ask and answer, followed by the second: "What will bring more Light to this?" We don't need a special day or astronomical phenomenon to inspire us to make sensible choices (resolutions) for our lives. We just decide that something that needs more Light will get it, and we choose to  make a change. The inner change has an effect on how we see the world, and change will come. In New Zealand the Maori have a special symbol for new growth and change. It is the spiral, copied from the emerging fern leaves, which create the new leaf for the plant. Happy Solstice to you!

 

It does sound auspicious, although we didn’t plan it to be, when Joshua booked the tickets. But we are leaving for New Zealand on 11-11-11. Interestingly, we arrive on 11-13-11, as we cross the international date line. I’ve never done that before.

 

We decided to take this trip because we’ve had a tough row to hoe the last year and a half. My mother had a rather mean form of tongue and throat cancer, and every vacation from school was spent tending to her to give my other siblings relief. I’ve never been away from Joshua for so long. Thanks to those who prayed for me.

 

Have you ever thought about that? In my prayers, I pray for others to find peace when the world seems difficult. One night in Cape Cod, I realized that people were praying for me, who didn’t even know me. I accepted their love gratefully.

 

So now we’re going to spend three weeks together “tramping”, as the Kiwis call it, in the vast national parks, and soaking in geothermally heated waters around Rotorua. There are also boiling mud pots and geysers. We’re thinking of swimming with the dolphins, but it might just be too chilly. But we plan on taking a tall ship sailing trip, and maybe a ferry ride. Then we’ll climb a glacier if possible, and will venture to Hobbiton, where the “Lord of the Rings” was filmed. We’d like to watch a game of Cricket, since the Rugby World Cup in Wellington has just passed. What are their stadiums like? Do they sing “Take Me out to the Ball Game?” Do they drink beer and eat hot dogs, or fish and chips? And we’ll catch some 3D movies, since there isn’t a 3D theater here.

 

We’ll study the Maori culture, and dine at one of their hangi feasts, which is their form of luau. I’ll learn what greenstone is, and we’ll go to all kinds of museums, and a zoo or two. Joshua’s goal is to get a lot of pictures. I’ll take some too. And who knows what else will be in store for us????

 

We’re allowing Spirit to guide us. We’ve contacted some "A Course in Miracles" groups, and will meet some new, but familiar friends, and then the day we arrive we will get a little tour of Auckland from a friend of my late uncle and mother. I’ll be beaming out a lot of love and happiness, and I expect you’ll feel it.